Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a Seminary as follows, "an institution for the training of candidates for the priesthood, ministry or rabbinate." Since we are neither Catholic nor Jewish, Michael and I obviously fall under the ministry part of the definition. But I must say, this definition falls woefully short of what a Seminary truly is and does, especially SEBTS and what it has meant to our lives.
In May of 2010, Michael and I set out on a journey that has been quite the ride. It hasn't always been easy, but it has been a wonderful ride nonetheless. I am sure if you sat us down separately, Michael and I would have a somewhat different description about what our time at SEBTS has meant. But the important things like spiritual growth, growing in our marriage and the amazing friendships we have made would definitely be the same! So, I guess this is my chance to share my side of the story and to thank the Lord and SEBTS for the preparation of these past few years.
The day I married Michael I knew that I was going to be a minister's wife for the rest of my life. I was excited about it and looking forward to hopefully following in the footsteps of so many wonderful women I had watched over the years in my churches. It was with that excitement that I set off to Wake Forest with my new husband. Little did I know the refining that awaited me.
I think the best way to sum up my time here is by using the word refining. Isaiah 48:9-11 says, "For my own name's sake I will delay my wrath; for the sake of my praise I will hold it back from you, so as not to destroy you completely. See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another." Everything is for the Lord's glory....absolutely everything...every struggle, every difficulty, every joy, every dream fulfilled, every blessing...it is all to bring glory to His name. I didn't see this clearly at the beginning of our seminary journey but through the refining only the Lord can bring, I am thankful to see it so clearly now. (It seemed only fitting that our pastor preached on Isaiah 48 just 2 weeks ago. I highly recommend listening to this message. You can find it at www.fbcdurham.org). In light of these revelations and the end of our time here in Wake Forest, here are some reflections from a Seminary wife.
Where I struggled...
In the beginning the struggle list seemed much longer than the blessings list. There were times where I felt lonely and bit like a bystander watching my husband experience this new and exciting time in his life. There were times where I saw my husband drinking from a fire hydrant of knowledge while I was hoping for a drip from the faucet. There were times where I longed to be closer to the family and friends I left behind in Georgia. There were times where I didn't want to meet anymore new people, I just wanted one real friend. There were times where my relationship with the Lord was dryer than the Sahara. Basically, there were just rough times and they really stunk. Don't get me wrong, there were some wonderful things that happened in those early years, but there was a very real struggle as well.
But God...(one of my favorite phrases)...But God was refining me and preparing me for the future and even for the new adventure we are about to embark on. I see now how He knew that I would be able to give Him the praise for all that has happened in these years and to bring glory to His name for all He has done. I see now how those struggles turned into blessings in the last couple of years and everything that hurt turned into undeserved blessings that brought joy.
What I have learned...
Being a minister's wife is a calling in and of itself. Women cannot just rely on their husband's call to be sufficient for their own lives. We must seek the Lord and ask Him what it is He wants us to be in His Kingdom and how that fleshes out in our support for our husband's ministry. If I only rely on my husband's call to ministry then I am not relying on the Lord. As we seek the Lord in our marriages He will show us what we can do as a couple and as individuals to further His kingdom.
I have also learned to find joy in all things. We are going to have things come our way that we don't like and that we aren't prepared for, but the joy of the Lord is our strength as Nehemiah 8:10 says. When things are rough, find joy by counting your blessings, because they are always there.
I have also learned to rest in the Lord. Isaiah 26:3-4 says, "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock." When my world seems to have tilted upside down I remind myself of this verse because I am at peace when my mind is on the Lord alone and not my never ending to-do list.
To all you other seminary wives who might be reading this or to those women who have men in ministry, my advice to you is this...find the Joy of your Salvation each and everyday. Find a ministry you can flourish in as you also support your husband in his. Talk to your husband about the things God is teaching you in a bible study or in a ministry you are leading/helping. If he wants you to proofread a paper or just listen to him share about what he learned in class...listen (even if it makes no sense to you!) Iron sharpens iron and there is nothing better than you and your spouse supporting each other in ministry. It is also nice when your husband acts as your Greek or Hebrew reference :-)
(Please note I am still a work in progress on all of these things!)
Why I am thankful for SEBTS...
Two years into our time here in Wake Forest I was blessed to get a job in the Provost Office on campus. I now not only had the experience of being a seminary spouse but also a seminary employee. It has been an honor to work with the faculty and administration on this campus. These men and women are a true gift to the kingdom of God and they love the Lord with all their hearts. They pray for their students and hope that each of them are equipped to go and spread the Gospel once they leave here.
It has also been a joy to work with the support staff on this campus. From the administrative assistants to the secretaries to the directors of various departments, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt these people work here not for money but as a ministry God has given them. The friendships I have made here will last a lifetime.
What I am most thankful for though is the vision of this school. Their passion is for everyone to GO! No matter where that is...across the ocean, across the country or across the street. They want people to leave this place and spread the gospel of Jesus Christ no matter what. The minute you step on this campus you quickly feel that and I am thankful Michael and I are equipped to go to Chicago. Thank you SEBTS for being faithful to the Word, for being servants willing to teach and for equipping students to go. You will forever hold a special place in our hearts and we are thankful God led us here even for a brief time. We look forward to being a part of the many that have gone out before us and the many that will come after!
When I walk off this campus for the last time on December 30, it will be with joyful tears. God took me on a journey and refined me for His glory. As a new journey and refining process begins, I can say I am ready for the future because I know who is in control and I know He has called me to GO!
Love from the Forest!
