Adoption Update

Hi friends! I know, I know, I know....it has been a long time since I posted. But I promise I have a good reason for it. What you are about to read is still rather raw in our lives, but my hope is that sharing it will bless someone who has or will experience a similar situation and to share with my fellow believers who I know will lift us up in prayer as we continue this journey. (P.S. It's long....but if you have read any of my other blogs you know that is par for the course).

That said, I want to first and foremost bless the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!  Because no matter what happens in this life he deserves all praise, honor and glory....period. No matter what we face, He is right there leading the charge and fighting for us in ways we don't even know or fully comprehend. I am so thankful I am a child of the King.  To understand the joy we can still find in this situation, you have to understand that and how it shades every aspect of our life.

So, let's start at the very beginning. After all, Maria in the Sound of Music says it is a very good place to start :-) As many of you know, back in January, Michael and I began the international adoption process from Ukraine with Lifeline Children's Services. There were pages and pages of paperwork to complete and phone conferences to have and then there was the unrest in Ukraine that wasn't making things much easier either. But still, we trudged along with the many requirements we had to fulfill.

On Easter Sunday this year we were about 2-3 days away from turning in the next round of paperwork as well as a $2000 non-refundable payment. That Sunday, I got a text from my mom stating that my grandmother's hairdresser had a daughter who was pregnant and incarcerated in a prison in Georgia. Would we be interested in possibly adopting the baby?! Our immediate answer was YES! Thus began a roller coaster journey like nothing I have ever experienced in my life. FYI....birthmom is due July 14!

At this point we had to work fast, we basically had 3 months. We immediately contacted Lifeline and put things on hold with the international adoption (totally a God thing stopping that payment before it went!) We then began researching what in the world one does for an independent, interstate adoption with an incarcerated mother....yep....we thought the same thing...WHAT?! We were blessed to find a local lawyer who also runs an adoption agency called A Child's Hope. Not only could they do an expedited home study for us, our lawyer could also handle the legal portions of the adoption. But then we also found out we had to have an attorney in Georgia as well. Again, God worked and we were able to find someone though our good friend Randy Smith.

Once we signed on with everyone we began yet another round of paper work.  Let's just say my husband really learned what a control freak I am with all this paper work. I was quite the task master where it was concerned and we worked hard and fast to complete everything. We had to gather notarized reference letters (special thanks to our sweet friends who moved so quickly on this!), we had to have an updated physical completed, we had to get a back ground check from the county and an FBI background check. Not to mention financial records, birth certificates, marriage certificate etc. You name it, we probably had to have it!

On a side note, it was quite hilarious to see Michael and I head into the Wake County Prison to get fingerprinted for our FBI background check. The sweet security guard took pity on us and helped us know where to go and what to do...we were totally fish out of water. But hey, if you ever need to get fingerprinted I can give you the scoop on what to do and where to go.

But I digress, as we are working through the paperwork process, we are also getting info about the birthmother and trying to figure out how we can contact her and visit her.  Through much research of the prison system in Georgia, I was able to figure out a time for us to go and visit. We were also able to send postcards to her in order to introduce ourselves and make sure we were on her visitation list. We were about a week away from heading down to GA for the visit when one evening around 9:30 I had a strange number come up on my phone. Normally I would have ignored it but thank the Lord he prompted me to answer. It was a collect call from the prison and birthmom was on the other side. I only had about 10 minutes to chat with her but it was a great icebreaker before meeting her in person the next week. At that time she sounded quite happy about the prospect of adoption (I forgot to mention that the birthdad is in prison as well).

Let me say, that until getting fingerprinted, I had never been to a prison before. For those who have known me since I was little, I am a goody-two-shoes to the max. The mere idea of getting in trouble was enough for me to break out in a sweat. So walking into my second prison in under a month was totally a God thing! When we arrived, we found out that only one of us could visit with birthmom. We decided it would be best for me to do it and Mike would sit right outside and storm Heaven with his prayers.

As I was taken in to the visitation room I had an "is this really happening" moment. But the Lord gave me that peace that passes all understanding and I sat down in front of the video screen and picked up the phone like I had seen done on TV so many times and began our 15 minute conversation. Our chat went well and it was good to learn more about her and she learned more about Michael and I as well. At that point she was still unsure of what she wanted to do but said that we were a Godsend and she would stay in touch.

At this point, we weren't sure what our emotions were about the whole situation. We were happy that she was honest about not being sure, but at the same time it made us uneasy too. All we could do was trust. To give you a time reference this visit happened on the Thursday before Memorial Day. As soon as we left the prison we headed to Florida with my parents for a few days of rest.

Upon our return that next Wednesday, we had our first Home Study visit with Kelly from A Child's Hope. What a blessing Kelly has been! We had 3 visits with her and she made the whole process so easy and shared her own adoption story with us. She wrote up our Home Study in record time and it has been ready to go for the past 2 weeks. We were thankful for at least one portion of this process to be somewhat simple :-)

Back to the birthmom. Long story short....birthmom got out of jail. In addition, her boyfriend is due to be released from prison in August, and she is optimistic that their situation will improve and they will be able to raise the baby together.  Over the past few weeks, I believe God started preparing Michael and I for what was to come. This past Monday was 2 weeks from the due date for this sweet baby. And this past Monday night, I spoke with birthmom who let me know that she is indeed going to keep the baby.

When I first hung up the phone I didn't feel much. I was basically numb and dreading telling Mike once he got home from work. And then I started dreading telling those people in our lives who have known about the situation and been praying for us. It was a strange place to be. Not knowing exactly what to do. But I was reminded of Job in that moment and how he blessed the name of the Lord when he had lost so much more in comparison. As much as it hurt, I chose to bless His name in that moment. As disappointing as it is even in this moment as I type, I choose to bless his name.

We are not the first family to ever experience this type of disappointment, nor will we be the last. It is the nature of such a process. But I genuinely believe God calls people to it and I genuinely believe that he will pick us right back up and help us as we try again. Just because this didn't go through doesn't mean that God's call to do it has gone away. A verse that has sustained me through this whole process is Exodus 14:14 which says, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." So, we will be still in our hearts and trust that God is fighting for us as we move forward in this process. 

I told the birthmother that should she find herself in a place over the next few months or even years that she can't care for the baby, we are here and we will gladly adopt at any point. Our prayer more than anything is that these parents will find Christ and raise their child in a godly home. We also pray God's protection over this new little life that is being born into a difficult situation. And we continue to pray for the Lord's direction as we take the next steps in the adoption process. I ask that you please pray these things with me friends. 

We will keep you posted on our next steps and how we see the Lord working. For now, we are going to enjoy the long 4th of July weekend and we pray that all of you do as well!  What a blessing it is to have the freedom to serve our Lord! Lots of love from the Forest!